Life has been crazy and
uber-difficult lately. Anyone who has read my rants knows that.
For those of you just tuning in, Reset will end in three episodes on
May 28, the anniversary of the first strip. I'm doing massive
flash animations for the last strips, and they're taking longer than I
thought. I was hoping to have the first one done by this
weekend, but it doesn't look like that's gonna happen.
Anyway, Reset's not the
only thing I'm ending. I've been working for my dad for the last
couple months, just getting back on my feet by covering his phones and
updating files, etc. My last day here will be my birthday, May
17. I'm turning 21, for those interested in knowing. Part
of the reason I went to work for my dad is to have more free time.
Indeed, I did have some more time, and I spent it on Reset.
Great for you guys, right?
The problem lay in the fact
that the time was supposed to be freed up so that I could work on my
novel, The Magitech Project. I've done a good deal of work on
it, and have nearly completed the preliminary work. I'm working
now on the name list and after that, the actual writing. I was
hoping to be done by the middle of last month and have my final
revision done by my birthday. Now I'm going to be lucky just to
have the name list done by then.
Anyway, I need more time to
work on my novel, which will eventually make me some money instead of
working on Reset, which has never paid me a dime. There are
other reasons also, but I'll share those later. Now it's time
for another guest rant:
Joe emailed me again
shortly after his
previous
rant. Here's what he said:
hey boss, its
your subcomic author. listen, i know i just wrote one, but i wrote
the rant a couple days ago, and, seeing as how you are sorta my boss,
i figured that i should send you a copy of this too. you dont have to
post unless you feel the need to, but i thought that since you open up
when you rant, i might as well do the same, and show you first. so...
here ya go. hope ya enjoy, and hope it answers any questions you may
have had.
I'm at the point in my life where I feel that nothing ever goes right
for me. I see people happy with their wives or girlfriends, and I
feel like shit, because the one real girlfriend I had left me for a
kid who deals drugs. Mind you, I don't condone nor look down upon
what he did, but all the years I was with her (5 to be exact) I only
smoked weed twice. The first, peer pressure. The second? well, no
one REALLY gets high the first time. So, I had to do it a second.
And both times I told her, and we fought, and I swore to her. I swore
I would never do it again. And I didn't. For all those years, we
were happy, albeit, very far apart. Wait, before I get any further
in, let me tell you, this rant will be about personal experiences, and
you will be finding out a little bit more about your new, favorite
sub-comic author.
Now, back to the point. We lived 45 minutes away from each other,
driving. We both didn't have vehicles, so the only way we got to see
each other were at powwows, Native American gatherings. Well, we made
it work for 5 long years, and then she dumped me for him. And she
lied about dating him right away too. They broke up, which I had no
doubt would happen. And still, I stayed clean and devoted to her.
Then, it happened. She starting dating another guy, 12 days older
than I. No lie. I didn't care. if it wasn't for the fact that
all the things she told me, all the "I love you," all the "I want to
be your wife, the mother of your children." Not even 2 months later,
she was saying these things to another man. Readers, you have no clue
the mental anguish. I had to sit there, online, silent, while they
sat there and told me how much of a bad person I was. That my words
scared her off, my words of marriage, that I told her only that year.
Those words scared her, yet she found comfort in those words coming
from another. Excuse my profanity, but it can't be helped. How
fucked up is that? I couldn't take it. I was on the verge of ending
it all. I fell into a huge depression, which to this day still haunts
me.
It wasn't until my brother saw me in one of my worst states yet. For
a week straight, I would come home and just lay in bed. He came to me
one day, and invited me with him. How could I refuse, this was my
brother. All he wanted to do was help. I went out. We went for a
ride. There was no destination. He opened his glove compartment and
grabbed a blunt. He said if I wanted to smoke it with him I could. I
didn't want to resist. I sparked it myself. I told him my troubles,
and he listened, and helped by giving me what I needed. Someone to
talk to, to be able to confide in. For that, my brother is probably
the person I trust the most in this world. After telling him, he
pulled out a packed bowl. I went this far, I told myself, might as
well hang for as long as I can. He said now that I am a little bit
better, I was going to get a lot better. After finishing, we just
rode around, listening to techno the entire time. And of course, we
stopped for munchies ^_^
There were no flaws that night. I will be the first to admit that I
still smoke, and enjoy my time. I am not addicted, and I can stop
when I want to. I have no reason to thus far, so I haven't. If
someone were going to pay me money to quit for a period of time, I
would do it. Heck, I got high the second time, and then I didn't do
it again for 3 years. I don't look down on it. I don't encourage it,
but I certainly don't think ill of those who do, and I never will. I
know that it is the root of my being the way I am. Like I said above,
I'm in the hardest time of my life right now. About to graduate,
going out into working, college, and all that good stuff. Its hard,
and I don't know if I'm ready, but I'm damn sure I'm going to do my
best to keep up. I guess that's what this could be about: not
giving up. Heed my words, for I've been there, and I still am. And
look at me now: I am the author of my own comic, I sing, can play
guitar, write music, and I have jobs lined up. I guess what they say
is true. You must hit bottom before getting to the top. I guess this
point of my life is the bottom. Better start climbing, huh?
